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• Meet Wow Wow. He’s the new single. Wow Wow is my friend and he means well. He likes to tell stories, and really hopes you like them. While Wow Wow could be a career destroying choice of second single, it does tend to get reactions from people, and you may need some kind of mid-level hypnotism to get the chorus out of your head. Wow Wow’s Song features some exciting guest appearances from best-buds Tripod, Harry Angus (Jackon Jackson) on trumpet and Richard Cartwright (Richard In Your Mind) on sitar. This is the radio edit, the full version goes for 6:30 minutes. Go directly to Myspace to hear official leaks of Wow Wow’s Song and album track ‘For The Love I Have For You.’ GO! NOW! We’ll wait for you. www.myspace.com/thebedroomphilosopher

• I won a freaking grant! I won $8000 from the Melbourne City Council to go towards next year’s Melbourne Comedy Festival show ‘Songs From The 86 Tram.’ It’ll be my first solo show in four years, and the first ‘show show’ idea I’ve had that I’m really excited about. Thanks must go to Janet Mcleod for her glorious assistance. I am not allowed to complain about anything for three years!

• I’ve recently started up a serious solo side-project ‘Windsor Flare.’ This is all my non-Bedroom Philosophery songs that I’ve had kicking around up to ten years. Think Eels meets Nick Drake meets John Lennon meets Neutral Milk Hotel (I’m not picking up that bar tab.) Anyway, I’m starting to do a few gigs just to keep the ball rolling. You can find Windsor Flare on Myspace and Facebook with some lo-fi demos.

• After two years of loyal service to BIBA, I have decided to change hairdressers. Dr Follicles on Gertrude street is the only hairdresser I know of who only serve men! Also, they don’t have appointments, you just rock up. They play Doors records, have 70’s veneer and orange lamp décor, charge under $30 and you get a beer. I went in with my mission statement of wanting to look like Graeme Garden if he was in Pulp, and they understood.

• Thankyou for your general concern and bemused affections in light of my uncharacteristically dark revelations. Yes, it’s been a hard year, but yes, what was my point again? I am okay. I have come off the anti-depressants (properly, tapering off – I was unnerved by the removal of the bottom end of my emotions) and can I just say that it seems VERY common for people to be on them at some point in their lives, and it doesn’t get spoken about much, but it should. (*Justin, 65, no pants, performing Ben Lee’s ‘we’re all in this together’ in an RSL.)

• I am proper single. Here’s a news flash, did you know that love actually ISN’T enough to keep a relationship together? It was news to me. Damn you hollywood movies and books, you never prepared me for this kind of brutally vulnerable paradox. It hasn’t made me any more bitter, but my deepest condolences to anyone who is in love. I’m off to ‘write better songs,’ (what rhymes with aaaaaaaaaaghhhhh), ‘find’ myself (passed out in a urinal), and patch together my devastated heart with aimless chats with vodka soaked hipster bogans telling me I’ve got bad posture and my sideburns are getting pubey.

• Meanwhile – ‘Wow Wow’s Song’ was recently debuted on JJJ drive with Sam Simmons. The charmingly confrontational Sam managed to offend the normally stoic Wow Wow by suggesting that he was a ‘a rip off of Jim Henson’ and ‘a glove puppet.’ Wow Wow’s first taste of national radio left him visibly shaken, and it took me several chocolate milks to calm him down. To his credit, he handled himself well, telling Sam that he was not happy with the interview and storming out over the opening refrain of Josh Pyke’s ‘Memories and Dust.’ During ‘Wow Wow’s Song,’ Sam dashed off to ‘see the look on Richard Kingsmill’s face’ and reported that the consensus among JJJ staff was split. ‘Half the people really like it, the other half think it’s really annoying.’ As my Pop always said ‘good art divides people, even if 99% of them hate it.’