I’m so post modern I refuse to play this song live
Instead I play Creep
By Radiohead
I’m so post modern I put glad wrap on the toilet
Poke it full of holes
And gatecrash show and tells
I’m so post modern that I remembered your birthday
Reported you missing
And told the police to bake a cake
I’m so post modern I held a MacGyver themed party
Built up an arsenal of craft weaponry
And mucked up the revolution
I’m so post modern I created a superhero
Captain Maracas
Saving the world through percussion
I’m so post modern that I went bushwalking
through a camping store
Gaffa taped to a Christmas tree
I’m so post modern I bought my own sky writing bi-plane
And crashed accidentally
While writing my suicide note
I’m so post modern that I laminate pancakes
Stir fry Iced Vovos
And spread cruskit propaganda
I’m so post modern I wore a hyper colour wedding dress
It was bad luck
When I saw myself
I’m so post modern I adapted a book into a movie
Forty one hours of my Nan
Reading the book
I’m so post modern I had a dream about Paddymelons
Woke up and wrote Yesterday
Entirely on the spoons
I’m so post modern that it’s one nod for yes
Two nods for no
And three nods I’m boogying
I’m so post modern I prefer beer from a cask
Spirits from a carny
And powdered wine sandwiches
I’m so post modern that I travelled back to 20 B.C.
Told them about Google
And now it’s called Pooglet
I’m so post modern I designed a talking Mr T t-towel
Dry the fool
I’m so post modern that I had myself rechristened
Invited only my ex girlfriends
It was okay
I’m so post modern that I rewrote Hamlet
Entirely from Simpsons quotes
And faxed it into space (worst lyric ever)
I’m so post modern I conceived ringtone fm
And tonebake festival
A girl died from irritation
I’m so post modern that I lurk in garden nurseries
And ask people for spare crayons
So I can draw a train to Nowra mate
I’m so post modern that I cloned a copy of myself
Kept it in the basement
Until the poetry improved
I’m so post modern I’ve got the weirdest of headaches
It’s in my foot
I’m so post modern that I sleep on a billiard table
My hands and feet in the pockets
And my head in a breadbin
I’m so post modern I made a chocolate computer
Blu-tak cheese cake
And futon soufflé hey
I’m so post modern I took photos of myself
Wearing every combination of clothes I own
And made a suit out of the photos
I’m so post modern I went hot air ballooning
With a Jarvis Cocker impersonator
Just to dry my thermal vests

 

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